I was gone and yup, you were forgotten.

So I might have just disapeared for a maternity leave length hiatus (No, I'm not pregnant so do not go call a doula).  I spent the past month preoccupied with some extremely important and cruical extra curricular activities.  Like patiently awaiting my girl scout cookie order form, giving myself an at home V05 hot oil hair treatment, and creating magnificant dance routines to Wilson Phillips song Hold On.  See image below:

 

 And then of course there were the not so crucial or time consuming activities like packing up our life and moving to a new house, taking a two week honeymoon, and digging out our top secret driveway hidden under 5 feet of snow.  Or I just forgot you existed.  Let's just leave that one as reply hazy, try again later.   

So I suppose I owe you an update of some important happenings over the past month.

1. I have successfully mastered homemade ravioli and braising short ribs. 

2. My cooking plus C's portion control has forced him to gain 9 lbs in 1 week

3. In Vermont, snow falls sideways

4. On country back roads if a sign says frost heave, it really means you are about to take a round trip dip into the pits of hell.  Your airbag may deploy and you may become quadriplegic or bruise your lady parts.

5. That crazy bitch last night on Hoarders means business. Do not take her chickens, even if they are dead from the weight of their own feces.

6. Also in more important news and because I love me some Suri Cruise, it appears Suri took a trip to the flower market in a sleeveless dress hiding a concealed weapon behind her back.  Bitch don't NEED sleeves. 

 

Okay well that about wraps it up.  So lets have three cheers for Mondays AND pink ponies that shoot laser daggers from their eyes!